Robert de Board in his wonderful adaptation of Kenneth Graham’s novel reveals the work of Transactional Analysis (TA) therapy through the life of Toad. Toad is ‘counselled’ by Heron, a wise old bird, who is utilising Berne’s wonderful TA model.

Toad had a strict upbringing, his Father was a disciplinarian and the teachers at his boarding school were cruel and controlling. This left Toad feeling vulnerable, small and unable to express his anger when he came across certain individuals. The surly and grumpy Badger was one of those who could press Toad’s buttons. Heron was able to help Toad recognise that when he encountered Badger his ‘Adapted Child’ was triggered and then he reverted to feelings and coping strategies that he had as a child. He felt helpless and muted when Badger came to visit and often drank too much afterwards to escape the confusing and frustrating feelings.

Many counselling and hypnotherapy clients that I see at Calm Minds are often swamped by the feelings triggered by Controlling Parent figures. These might be bosses at work, work itself, or groups of people. When exposed to these individuals (or indeed concepts) we automatically regress to our Child Ego State. How we learned to cope as a child is often mirrored out as an adult. We sulk, withdraw, rant, rage or freeze and this often makes the other person even more controlling or critical. How often have you felt in these situations? You may revert to humour or desperately want to fit in with your ‘superiors’. Like Toad, I believe we all feel like this in certain circumstances, but for some the feelings can be overwhelming.

If you would like to find out more about our various Ego States or would like to talk through these issues with a counsellor, please contact us here at Calm Minds. We offer many types of therapy, including hypnotherapy and integrative counselling - influenced by Transactional Analysis (just like Heron - but without the beak!)

Jonathan Lloyd

Reference
De Board, R. (1998). Counselling for Toads. A psychological adventure. London: Routledge.