Friday, November 30, 2012

Attachment Theory into the Future

I am delighted to announce that Sir Richard Bowlby the son of John Bowlby will be presenting a day-long workshop on his understanding of Attachment Theory. It will take place at Edgeley Park, Stockport on the 22nd February 2013 and the cost is £95 including refreshments and lunch. You can book online at www.mindsite.co.uk.

I met Sir Richard a few weeks ago at a talk he delivered in Barnsley and was very impressed by his knowledge of the subject and his passion about current child-care issues. He has certainly impacted on me personally and how I am with clients. If you would like to no more about Attachment Theory, Sir Richard Bowlby or the course - you can always call me here at Calm Minds in Bramhall.


You can find more information on Sir Richard Bowlby as well as further information on the day-long workshop  by clicking here

Monday, August 6, 2012

Ten Top Tips To Reduce Stress


Jonathan Lloyd
August 2012

1.    Choose - Stress is our subjective response to unwanted demand - so if we choose to do something - like the washing up, shopping, or a job - it will be less stressful. Also, remember, staying where you are is also a choice.

2.    Manage expectations - Expectation levels are usually formed in our childhood. "You should be getting 100% in that exam!" can set up unreasonably high expectation of self, which we project onto others too, and are often striving for perfection or being let down. Unrealistically low expectations can be protective but set a low-mood or low sense of self.

3.    Reduce caffeine - Caffeine can increase our stress levels, so try to reduce your coffee and tea intake or preferably switch to water or herbal.

4.    Join in - Isolation and loneliness can also be stressful, feeling lonely in a crowd, when you don't choose to be can be stressful. Join into your local community, join that local club and follow a passion with others.

5.    Be time boundaried - "I will just finish my emails" can mean working beyond what is reasonable for us humans. Work to a certain time and then stop. How good is your work at midnight when you have been working all day? Use some triggers to stop work - that might be a change of clothes or shutting the car door when arriving home.

6.    Learn to meditate - We spend too many hours in "fight or flight" nowadays. Taking up yoga, tai-chi, or simply learn some breathing exercises can bring us down into a relaxed alpha state - which is a great state for the mind and body.

7.    Eat well & exercise - Remember diet is a four letter word. Eating authentically without stressing over your food and engaging in meaningful exercise will reduce stress. You don't burn fat off in a stressful state and exercise is about movement - (choose to move!)

8.    Be kind to yourself - learning to be kind to yourself and stop beating yourself up is vital to reducing your stress levels. You can learn to go easy on all of us other fragile humans too!

9.    Get help - if you are struggling, don't be afraid to get help. Find your local counsellor at www.bacp.co.uk. It is a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it, watch your body and it will tell you when you need help (IBS, skin problems etc..)

10.  Avoid SMOG - are you still following rules that someone set out many years ago. If you find yourself using Should Must Ought or Got To, ask yourself (a) where does this come from? (b) Is it true? and (c) Is this being kind to myself?    

Is everything as urgent as your stress would imply?
Carrie Latet
    

Monday, June 18, 2012

Acceptance - A Blog


Here is an excerpt from Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.

" So let's turn to your illness: each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective way of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that. They just accept it, the way that typists accepted the fact that the QWERTY keyboard was the best possible one (it was made to make us type slower!) ....Your someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else.  And that in my view, is a serious illness...It is as if you force yourself to be the same as everyone else: it causes neurosis, psychoses, and paranoia. It's a distortion of nature, it goes against God's laws, for in all the world's woods and forests, He did not create a single leaf the same as another. "

These words ring so true, time to accept, and be that authentic different human, you were born to be......

Jonathan Lloyd
June 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012

Research - Metaphor & Counselling

I am looking for other therapists to interview about their use of metaphor. I'm delighted that The University of Manchester have validated my doctorate research into the use of metaphor in counselling. I believe that this is a rich and mostly unexplored area and would be interested to hear from you if you are counsellor in practice who has stories of the powerful use (or not) of metaphor in your work with clients. I have written before of my interest in metaphor, psychological landscapes and the work of David Grove for trauma resolution.

I am presenting two workshops on this topic: the first is at The Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy on the 3rd July and then Leeds Counselling Training in January next year. Please contact me if you wish to attend either of these events.

I will be back blogging shortly on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which I find fascinating, freeing and potent.

Jonathan Lloyd

Calm Minds - counselling & hypnotherapy in Bramhall,Stockport.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Autistic Spectrum - Counselling and Hypnotherapy

I have increasingly thought that hypnotherapy can be a useful therapy for all of my clients, including my clients on the Autistic Spectrum ; why not? Clients on the spectrum have all the same issues around weight loss for example as the rest of us. They usually have a heightened anxiety level (which doesn't help with weight loss) and relaxation techniques such as self hypnosis or breathing can be of great help. General issues around exam nerves, driving tests can be dealt with, along with deeper seated issues such as bullying and "inner-child" resolution.

As with any therapy, hypnosis isn't a cure all, and it doesn't suit everyone. However, allied with counselling and talking things through it can be an extremely useful therapeutic tool.

Classic hypnosis can be engaged through progressive relaxation and deepening techniques, also the alpha state can be engaged in the therapy room without any formal trance inductions. This natural state, is a relaxed state where healing can take place. Often imaginative, creative and emotional connection can occur in the alpha state.

A great state for any of us to enter, particularly those of us who struggle to generally relax. Interestingly clients who are often in their "flight or flight" are the ones who relax quickly and deeply when given the permission to do so.

If you would like to know more about therapy and autism, that is counselling or hypnotherapy, please contact me at my Bramhall, Cheshire office.

Jonathan Lloyd

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

February 2012

I am delivering a talk on the 10th February in the centre of Stockport (7.30 pm).The title is working with people on the Autistic Spectrum and their carers. I will be talking about the results of my 2008/9 MA on how fathers with autistic children cope along with how I work as a counsellor and (occasionally hypnotherapist) with clients on the spectrum.

If you would like to attend the event, please contact me asap as numbers are restricted.

Jonathan Lloyd

Friday, January 13, 2012

New year blog

It is that time of year again, after a period of rest and indulging, looking down the barrel of a long stretch to Easter, when all kinds of issues can pop up. Relationships have possibly been strained (or healed) with this time spent together. Weight is also an issue at this time of year, after the parties and the good excuses for lack of exercise. I really enjoy helping people with weight issues. I firmly believe that the combination of hypnotherapy and counselling is the best approach. Eating can be a very emotional affair with roots sometimes as far back as childhood, "mindless eating" relates to our Child Ego State.

Hypnosis and counselling can be used effectively to help with such inner child issues, and I will often use John Bradshaw's Inner Child Therapy as a framework to work through with clients. Often, a confidence boost is required in the initial stages ; working on breaking habits attached to food, or even aversion to certain food types (chocolate/cakes etc?) can be helpful.

I am also becoming increasingly interested in the use of metaphor in therapy. David Grove's metaphor model can be extremely cathartic for those who have suffered a trauma of any kind. My doctorate work is now following this fascinating subject, I look forward to sharing my research results in the future.

I recently attended a wellbeing day at a school in Plymouth. Working alongside my colleague Chris Dawson talking about managing stress with 82 teachers and teaching staff was a joyful experience, and informative to me too. The subject of stress continues to interest me, I was intrigued to hear that the "normal" level of stress in 2012 would have resulted in the hospitalisation of someone in the 1950s! Stress really is the modern day epidemic and affects all of us. Chris and I are embarking on writing a book on the subject of stress and wellbeing, drawing on our work with clients and schools over the last 4 years. We have a working title - The Cat Sits in the Sun...             

Exciting times!!

If you would like to know more about my private practice of counselling/hypnotherapy in Bramhall, Cheshire, please call or email to arrange an initial chat.

Jonathan Lloyd