As the clocks go back I am left reflecting why my counselling client appointment requests increase in the winter?

There may be some obvious reasons, dark nights, bad weather, less time out and about, less sunlight.

There is a long leap from the summer holidays to Christmas with a short October break for some. Stress caused by chronic ongoing unwanted demand can leave some of us feeling down, depressed, anxious or even ill. It can often affect our relationships, leaving us on a short fuse, ready to dump the day’s anger on the safest (loved) one. How many of us are guilty of that?

If we feel stressed or down due to increased workload, the bad weather and lack of light can affect us even more. Our control seems to be external. In other words our happiness depends more on what is happening ‘out there’ rather than us taking control. If the weather is bad than that makes us feel sad, if people aren’t nice to us at work we feel down. This external locus of control can be the cause of stress and make stress worse, a vicious circle downwards.

If you would like to find out how to take more control of your happiness and feel less down the winter than last, through counselling or hypnosis, please call me at Calm Minds in Bramhall.

Jonathan Lloyd
Oct 2011

This is a question I have been asked recently, and I have some ideas about this subject. Occasionally hypnotherapy clients come to me to quit smoking and I tell them that they are not ready. Sometimes there are more important things to deal with than stopping smoking at that time. Our subconscious seems to have a way of prioritising items on it’s “To Do List”. For example a client came to see me recently who had high levels of negative stress in his life. We had to deal with this first, before the smoking cessation session. If we hadn’t there would have been a good chance the smoking session wouldn’t have worked. I want the therapy to be as effective as it can be for each and every client. I am pleased to say that we worked on his issues (about four sessions of hypnotherapy and counselling) and he did subsequently stop smoking.

Some clients may require help getting to the level where they are ready to quit, and others may need some ongoing support. Although I believe the vast majority stop at the first attempt (it is hard to be accurate on the statistics as I do not monitor clients for confidentiality reasons). If there is one reason for clients starting the habit again is usually peer pressure at a moment low defences (alcohol in the main). There is no problem in repeating the hypnotherapy treatment, and it can often be even more potent the second time. It is important not to admit defeat at this point; it is just your subconscious starting the habit over again, which can be stopped through hypnosis.

If you would like to know more about stopping smoking our any other habit, please give me a call at Calm Minds in Bramhall.

Jonathan Lloyd
Oct 2011

It has been a while since my last blog; time seems to fly by at this busy time of year. Bad news in the media, stress and anxiety don’t seem to be reducing though.

I am busy with my private clients here at Calm Minds in Bramhall, I am also engaged with some lecturing on Counselling at Stockport College and the new Diploma in Hypnotherapy starts on the 5th November at Tameside General Hospital. If you are interested in training to become a qualified hypnotherapist you can find out more on our sister site – www.ncoch.co.uk.

My doctoral studies continue and my interest is flowing down the altered states in therapy route. This will be an interesting yet challenging area and involves the cross over between hypnosis and counselling where there is a language and culture clash. I believe that the work around metaphor (David Grove) bridges the two modes of therapy and I am delivering a talk on this subject at the Manchester Institute of Psychotherapy, Chorlton next Friday the 4th November at 6.30. Please feel free to come along, there is a nominal charge of £7 on the door, visit www.mcpt.co.uk for more information.

I will be posting some more blogs shortly on counselling post smoking cessation and how winter can affect our mood.

Jonathan Lloyd
26th October 2011

Robert de Board in his wonderful adaptation of Kenneth Graham’s novel reveals the work of Transactional Analysis (TA) therapy through the life of Toad. Toad is ‘counselled’ by Heron, a wise old bird, who is utilising Berne’s wonderful TA model.

Toad had a strict upbringing, his Father was a disciplinarian and the teachers at his boarding school were cruel and controlling. This left Toad feeling vulnerable, small and unable to express his anger when he came across certain individuals. The surly and grumpy Badger was one of those who could press Toad’s buttons. Heron was able to help Toad recognise that when he encountered Badger his ‘Adapted Child’ was triggered and then he reverted to feelings and coping strategies that he had as a child. He felt helpless and muted when Badger came to visit and often drank too much afterwards to escape the confusing and frustrating feelings.

Many counselling and hypnotherapy clients that I see at Calm Minds are often swamped by the feelings triggered by Controlling Parent figures. These might be bosses at work, work itself, or groups of people. When exposed to these individuals (or indeed concepts) we automatically regress to our Child Ego State. How we learned to cope as a child is often mirrored out as an adult. We sulk, withdraw, rant, rage or freeze and this often makes the other person even more controlling or critical. How often have you felt in these situations? You may revert to humour or desperately want to fit in with your ‘superiors’. Like Toad, I believe we all feel like this in certain circumstances, but for some the feelings can be overwhelming.

If you would like to find out more about our various Ego States or would like to talk through these issues with a counsellor, please contact us here at Calm Minds. We offer many types of therapy, including hypnotherapy and integrative counselling - influenced by Transactional Analysis (just like Heron - but without the beak!)

Jonathan Lloyd

Reference
De Board, R. (1998). Counselling for Toads. A psychological adventure. London: Routledge.

I enjoy using metaphor as a way to communicate, and some people seem to use this linguistic tool more than others. I believe that the use of metaphor in therapy can be very powerful and often induces a creative state for both the client and therapists. You could argue that we are all walking metaphors and if we change the metaphor or develop the metaphor then therapeutic change can occur.

The use of metaphor in therapy is relatively common, although its specific conscious use as seen in the late David Grove's work continues to be unknown in the counselling world, and is still marginally used in the hypnotherapy field. I have recently completed a doctoral paper which has also highlighted the possible use of Clean Language and metaphors in theresearch domain to enhance the richness of resultant data. I reflect on what has surprised me in working on this paper?

• The universal use of metaphor and how creative metaphors can be.
• Sullivan & Rees (2008, p.13) comment on Grove's work “Rather than people having metaphors, it's as if they were theirmetaphors. And when these changed, they did too.” This is a powerful assertion, and if true, could have significant impact on the therapeutic process.
• The use of alpha states in counselling that already exists and is little mentioned. Roger's words on his own altered state, I found hugely impact-full. “I am in a slightly altered state of consciousness in the relationship, then whatever I do seems to be full of healing. Then simply my presence is releasing and helpful.” Rogers (1980, p.99).
• The use of Clean Language in therapy was known to me. It can be a very powerful therapeutic tool. However, I was surprised by the cross-over to research interviews and the profound Findings that Clean Language, focussing on memory and metaphor, can increase the resultant amount of meaning by a factor of five.

If you would like more information about Metaphor Therapy, Clean Language and how they can be used effectively in counselling, hypnotherapy or research. Please contact me at Calm Minds in Bramhall.

References
Rogers, C.R. (1980). Way of Being. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Sullian, W. & Rees, J. (2008). Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing.

I have just completed my Post Graduate Certificate in Supervision at The Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy, a fascinating and enlightening course run by a wonderful trainer and therapist Bob Cook.

I am now offering one to one supervision to Counsellors, Hypnotherapists and other allied psychological professions. I do firmly believe that the supervision model offered by counselling and in line with the recommendations of the BACP is a model that could be followed to the benefit of many other professions.

If you are a counsellor or hypnotherapist (or like me do both) in the Manchester area and are looking for a supervisor, please bear me and Calm Minds in mind. I work in an integrative way and offer concessionary rates for students.

Jonathan Lloyd April 2011

We all have difficult times in our lives, times when we need to talk things through with someone, someone without an agenda, someone who can be trusted and has professional training. Often people turn to a counsellor at such times. Although, if the issue is your relationship this can be frustrating if you are trying to handle it on your own. Often, the best course of action is for both of you to see a couples counsellor.

At Calm Minds here in Bramhall, Cheshire we have qualified couples counsellors that are here to help you through tough times. They will offer unbiased support for both in equal measure and allow a space where you can speak openly and honestly to each other. When it comes to relationships we understand that communication is of paramount importance. Even if you decide to end the relationship, this can be done on a basis that is as amicable as possible, where others’ interests are taken into account.

There are no ‘perfect’ relationships and working your way to find something that is good enough for both of you can take time and effort. Given the appropriate environment of our bespoke offices (a neutral calming space) you can give yourselves the best chance of working things out.

Calm Minds offer couples a chance to discuss issues over a longer period than a standard counselling session, after all there are three people in the room and you both need time to express how you feel. The standard time allocated to couples is therefore 75 minutes and our fee reflects the increased therapy time.

If you live in Stockport, Greater Manchester or Cheshire and you would like to discuss how couples counselling could be of benefit to you, please call us on 0161 439 7773 or email jonathan@calmminds.com.