We all have different reasons why we gain weight, for some people eating has an emotional attachment as I have written about on many occasions, for others there may be physical reasons such as an under-active thyroid or hormonal imbalance.

Diets are temporary (and don’t work) and your body needs a variety of foods to provide the carbohydrate, protein, fats, vitamins and minerals it needs.  I am therefore delighted to announce that I have joined forces with Joanne Hill Bsc Hons, Dip CNM, MBANT a Registered Nutritionist to create the ‘Weight Loss for Life’ programme.

We will be offering the people of Greater Manchester and Cheshire the opportunity to work with two specialist weight loss therapists. Joanne will be providing invaluable dietary advice helping you to create a healthy lifestyle and I will be looking at how counselling and hypnotherapy can help with the emotional aspect of weight. I am excited about how effective the various models of therapy can be when used in conjunction, dealing with the mind and the body in unison.

The Weight Loss for Life programme will incorporate counselling, hypnotherapy and nutritional therapy at our offices in Bramhall. The first course is scheduled for the New Year and will include the following:-

• An hour long personal consultation with Joanne.
• An hour long personal consultation with me (Jonathan)
• Four 90 minute workshops
1. The real story of how food works in the body
2. The emotional connection with weight
3. How to deal with stress and habits
4. A new menu for life

All of this for £199 if you book before Christmas (£220 if you book after.) Numbers are restricted, so please book early if you want to start the New Year on the right track. After the course you will have the option of continuing the therapeutic help with either or both consultants.

For more information on weight loss and our programme please call me on 0161 439 7773.

For more details about Joanne’s work please visit www.nutritionforfemalehealth.co.uk

As a male counsellor I am in the minority. Over 80% of the memberships of the British Association of Counsellors of Psychotherapists (BACP) are women.

This fact is reinforced every time I arrive at a workshop or training course: I am usually the only male therapist. During my counselling training there were only four men out of a class of over twenty. This ratio has reduced as I have gone on to complete my masters and then onto the doctorate. I really enjoy being in the minority in this case; I have made many wonderful female friends who are counsellors.

Why is it that there are so few male counsellors? Is it that the general perception is that you need ‘feminine’ traits such as openness, empathy or being in touch with your emotions, or does it reflect the client gender profile? I believe it is changing slowly as we have more counsellors in schools, and I also believe that male counsellors can offer a lot. Many clients choose to see a male counsellor. Some men only want to share with another man; some women prefer to see a man (maybe to get a man’s perspective?) and some clients don’t consciously ‘see’ their therapist’s gender.

I am pleased to say that we can offer the people of Stockport, Cheshire and Greater Manchester choice. They can see a male counsellor that would be me, a female counsellor ~ my colleague Audrey and we also have a couples counsellor starting in the New Year.

I am pleased to announce the opening of a new clinic this Saturday 3rd October 2009 where I will be counselling young people on the Autistic Spectrum at the Peace Centre in Warrington.

The sessions, which need to be arranged with my beforehand start at 10 am and will be held fortnightly for the foreseeable future.

I have decided to hold the sessions at the Peace centre for a number of reasons. Firstly it is an excellent location with free parking, originally set up by Tim Parry to help young people and those affected by conflict. It is also a central location to offer counselling from, where young people from all over Cheshire, Merseyside, North Wales and Greater Manchester can easily access the service.

A Saturday morning clinic also removes the need to visit me after school, when you can be feeling tired and not in the right frame of mind or ‘state’ for counselling.

If you would like more information on the counselling service of young people with autism and Aspergers, please contact me.

The details of the Peace Centre are:
The Tim Parry Johnathan Ball Foundation for Peace
Peace Centre
Peace Drive
Great Sankey
Warrington
Cheshire
WA5 1HQ

Tel: 01925 581 231
Fax: 01925 581 233

E-mail: info@foundation4peace.org
Website: www.foundation4peace.org

I am due to deliver a workshop on Autism and coping at the National Autism conference at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport on the 11th November. For more information on the workshop or for details on other talks and discussions on coping, counselling and autism please contact me.

I saw the first spider of the spider season this morning, in the bathroom, clinging to the shower screen. I don’t have a problem with spiders, but there are plenty who do. Arachnophobia is defined as an inordinate fear of spiders and is the world’s biggest phobia, second in the UK (after public speaking).

This phobia can often be triggered by the thought of or sometimes even a picture of a spider. A serious case of arachnophobia is much different than someone who just doesn't like spiders. Many people who are afraid of spiders have feelings of panic entering into a situation where spiders may be present, the old fight or flight system kicking in again. It’s not usually the spider that creates this feeling, but the way they move and scurry around.

I helped a Greater Manchester based friend, last year, using hypnotherapy to overcome her fear of spiders. She was literally petrified of the little creatures, the thought of them made her skin crawl; she would have to ask her seven year old son to remove them from the house.

This brings up a side issue, a big side issue, in that in my experience phobias are often picked up from Mum or Dad. When you see a parent getting anxious about a spider, a dog, or when flying, this can become a learned behaviour.

So it is a good idea to get the fear resolved before it gets contagious. Back to my friend with the spider issues, after the hypnotherapy her fear of spiders had gone, and she was actually able to pick them up and take them outside, quite a significant change.

The powerful effectiveness of hypnotherapy for any phobia never ceases to amaze me. If you can learn to be scared of spiders, you can quickly learn to be calm around them. This also applies to other animals including insects and snakes.

If you have a fear of spiders and you live in Cheshire, Stockport or Greater Manchester why not find out how easily it can be resolved here at Calm Minds?

It’s the season for weddings. I know this for two reasons, one because my rooms are opposite Bramhall Methodist church and I often see the happy throng gathered outside the church eagerly anticipating the bride’s arrival. Also, I have the privilege of being my friend Mike’s best man in September.

I have been best man before, and it can be a stressful experience, organising the stag party, practical things on the day and then the dreaded speech! I have spent many a night struggling with the words and fretting whether or not my jokes will be regarded as funny or will the bride’s mother not approve. I must say I am far more relaxed about the affair this time around, probably because of what I do for a living and perhaps my age!

The fear of public speaking is the most common ‘phobia’ in the UK, followed by…yes you guessed it the fear of spiders. Most of my hypnotherapy clients report a fear of public speaking which usually boils down to a fear of being the focus of attention or being judged. I am pleased to report, that in my experience, this is something that can be easily resolved through a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy. As with all fears, it is stored in our subconscious, and the best way of dealing with such issues is simply to talk, persuade, cajole the subconscious mind to drop off the fear. Your local hypnotherapist can do this; I do this almost constantly from my offices in Bramhall, Cheshire.

Now as we know gents, us guys are bit-part players on the day. Really it’s all about the bride (and her Mum). They want to look their best on the big day and we at Calm Minds can offer hypnotherapy for those who want to perhaps loose a few pounds and fit into that stunning dress. Hypnotherapy for weight loss is the most popular type of therapy that I carry out. I have written on it extensively before, but it’s not about diets, diets don’t work. It’s about changing habits and dealing with emotions that lead to weight gain.

Enjoy your day, and be happy together (that’s all about communication in the broadest sense). If you need help with nerves around speeches or want to feel better on the special occasion, please call me at Calm Minds in Bramhall.

I have been asked to ‘blog’ about counselling. I am always hesitant to write on such issues due to client confidentiality.

Well I suppose that could be a subject for discussion for starters? When I see a counselling client for the first time they are usually anxious and concerned that they are meeting a new ‘therapist’ for the first time. “Will he tell someone about what we are talking about” may be a thought crossing their mind?

The British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists, of which I am a member, are very clear on client confidentiality with strong ethical guidelines, (visit www.bacp.co.uk for more information on this). Basically counsellors are trained to keep counselling client information extremely confidential.

We have a legal obligation to let the relevant authorities know if we believe our client is involved in terrorism or drug trafficking (the money laundering aspect). Otherwise, the information passed on remains confidential, even when we discuss counselling client issues with our supervisor the client is always anonymous. Even down to bumping into a client in Tescos around Bramhall or Stockport, I will normally agree beforehand that I will not ‘let on’ unless they do so first.

I also contract beforehand around clients’ safety and those around them, particularly children, and confidentiality may be broken if someone is in danger.

The other aspect of counselling that I feel that I can talk about in a general sense is that of ‘labels’. Labels can be useful in a profound way and give a sense of normality or “this is why I am like this!” and on a practical level they can be used to provide support and assistance including financial help. Although, I find counselling a number of clients who come from all over the North West as a ‘de-labelling’ process.

Often a client will walk in with a metaphorical sandwich board around their necks and introduce themselves as “I have PTSD”, “I am depressed”, “I suffer from OCD”, or even “I am mad”.

In such circumstances it can take a period of counselling and de-labelling to get to the person underneath who is reacting in a very human way to life and outside events. It can be the source of great warmth, satisfaction and hope to see the human without the label, the authentic person they were always meant to be appear in front of me. One thing that connects all my counselling clients, I believe, is they start with a since in inauthentic-ness. Not feeling ‘themselves’, something ‘not quite right’.

I enjoy the process of counselling that allows them or encourages them to become them.

Away from my business as a therapist at Calm Minds in Bramhall, I am also the father of three children one of whom is on the Autistic Spectrum (AS). He is now eleven and will be going to High School in September, an anxious time for most parents, but particularly for parents of children with special needs including autism. Recent research suggests that they are twenty times more likely to be bullied, quite a horrendous thought!

My recently completed Masters Degree at Manchester University was in counselling and my question and research was around the experiences of fathers of autistic children and how they cope.

I have been practicing counselling for a number of years now and help people in all areas of life with many human issues such as stress, depression, phobias and anxiety. Recently I have been helping a number of people on the AS (notice I don’t include ‘disorder’ as it puts a negative label on people). I am a counsellor recommended by the National Autistic Society.

I help parents and their children, the initial chat usually involves the family and then I work with the individual. The children and teenagers that I have helped recently with counselling tend to come from all over Cheshire and the North West, from the age of around ten or eleven, and are usually at the higher functioning end of the spectrum including Aspergers. Anxiety around social situations is a common theme, and building up a trusting non judgemental relationship is usually the underlying base to build upon. I also help with relaxation methods and other thought and behaviour work.

I have had the experience of having a son with autism (probably why I became a therapist in the first place) and my research and work with others either those with AS or those whose life is impacted by AS, maybe will allow me to make your life a little easier? I don’t have all the answers, but if you are struggling with autism in the family and want some counselling or just a chat about how I can help, please contact me.

My standard charge is £50 per hour, £40 for children (as I find that 30 or 40 minutes is the optimum period for the younger person) and I will always discuss lower fees if you are struggling financially.

I have already written about stress and how it manifests. Today I want to talk about the dynamics of work place stress.

The first point having helped people deal with stress almost on a daily basis with counselling and hypnotherapy I would like to make is that it’s not all about work. Usually work life balance and outside-work factors are at play. Relationship problems or bereavement for example can add to stress levels.

Stress is increased to a dangerous level when unwanted demands outweigh resources.

Let’s talk about unwanted demands first. I was on holiday recently and I had to make one two minute phone call one evening. Because I thought ‘this is my holiday and I don’t want to be making business calls’ I had a stressful day ruminating about this small affair of a short phone conversation. The point is that it was unwanted.

In the business environment unwanted demands can come in two guises; the first from the company or the boss asking too much from you, it may be an unreasonable demand or the way it is demanded. More often it is the way that you receive it. The other is more subtle. It is your own demands of your self. Your own high expectations, trying to prove that you are the hardest worker, stay longest in the office and please the boss are the most powerful. Maybe you were criticised as a child or sometime along your path you have received the message that you are ‘not good enough’. You have a point to prove, but there is a cost and you may not notice the cost until it is too late.

So what can you do about it? Resources are the simple answer. Counselling is extremely useful at looking at your life as a whole, working out where those demands are coming from, and what you can do differently on a practical level. It can also help with reframing negative thought processes.  Hypnotherapy and meditation are recognised methods of relaxation, along with massage and other therapies.

If you would like a chat either as a boss who wants to implement stress management (it is a legal requirement) or your life is creating too much stress. Then give me a call at Calm Minds, hypnotherapy and counselling for stress, here in Bramhall Cheshire.

I will visit you if that is more convenient anywhere in Cheshire, Greater Manchester or the North West.

The nice weather has got me thinking about how hypnotherapy can be used for one of my favourite pastimes – golf.

I have been working with a golf professional currently on tour in the USA. Whilst he was still here in Bramhall Cheshire we did a number of hypnotherapy sessions around his golf game.

Confidentiality prevents me from naming him, but suffice to say I am constantly checking on his scores and results. A strange thing happened with the hypnotherapy CD that I prepared for him. I played it back to myself and I won the next two competitions in Cheshire that I entered and also my son listened to it and he won the next junior competition at Disley Golf Club. Living proof that hypnotherapy works with sport, particularly golf.

Those of you who play will realise that it is all ‘between the ears’ and you know when you are relaxed and confident you are at your best.

Hypnotherapy helps to increase relaxation and confidence for many situations, but the results are extremely visible in sport.

I have played for 30 years and my best golf is when life is generally good and my mind is calm. Anxiety manifests itself in the golf swing or the putting stroke and is then reinforced. So when things go wrong you swing even faster or you TRY even harder to get that stupid ball in the hole!! Anxiety breeds speed and too much speed is bad in golf.

Along with a colleague who works in other sports I have devised a programme of hypnotherapy for groups and individuals that aim to improve your enjoyment of the game. (Otherwise as Oscar Wilde says – it just becomes a good walk spoilt.) We can deliver the courses which use a combination of sports hypnotherapy and other techniques at clubs around the Cheshire and South Manchester area.

How many times have you considered going to a hypnotherapist to stop smoking or to lose weight and said to yourself "I’m not going to see him, what if he makes me take all my clothes off and dance like a chicken"? This thought process is all too familiar so let me explain in this post why this couldn’t happen.

All hypnosis is in fact self hypnosis. If you do not want to be hypnotised you simply wont be. Nobody can enter a hypnotic state unless they want to you are always in control, you can hear what is being said and you don’t go to sleep.

The keyword there was UNLESS THEY WANT TO. This reason alone is why the people who you see on stage, do in fact dance like a chicken at the hypnotists command. They expect to be asked to do silly things so go along with what they are being asked to do; it’s a bit like karaoke and the early stages of X Factor.

Pay close attention to the stage hypnotists opening speech next time you are at a show and notice they only ask for willing volunteers and will be checking for those that are up for a laugh and to show off. If you don’t volunteer you simply won’t do what is asked of you and this makes you a useless subject for a stage hypnotist as they only want the people who are up for a laugh and want to be the star of the show.

The same principle works at hypnotherapy level. If you go to a stop smoking using hypnosis session and are not completely ready to stop smoking, no amount of hypnotherapy will help you.  

All hypnosis is in fact self hypnosis so if you want to be hypnotised and can follow simple instructions you will be hypnotised and all of the healthy suggestion can be made to your subconscious. It is usually your own words being fed back to you by the therapist.

To experience the power of hypnotic suggestion to stop smoking , lose weight or drop off a phobia then please visit our website at Calm Minds for professional Hypnotherapy Stockport, Cheshire, Greater Manchester.

I have been helping the people of Cheshire & Greater Manchester lose weight with hypnotherapy for quite some time. What I have noticed is that people who are happy with their weight and keep to a healthy weight don't actually try. They just do things a certain way. The formula for success is actually easy and it's the same formula being used again and again. It's actually all about "habits" and the best way of controlling habits is with hypnotherapy and counselling.

Do you want to stop going round in circles trying to break old habits?
I believe that diets don’t work on a long term basis; they are temporary by their very nature. You need to deal with the emotions involved in what I call ‘dis-comfort eating’ and the subsequent habits that are formed.

Why is that chocolate biscuit singing ‘eat me’ at the same time every night?
Why do I drink lots of alcohol when I feel stressed – which is most of the time nowadays?
What is underneath your eating patterns?

Until you discover them and resolve them you will be caught in the temporary cycle of diet and weight gain. Using counselling once you have discovered this and are able to break the habits of fasting eating, large portions and snacking then weight loss is a natural result of a lifestyle change. No need to obsess about diets – which causes stress – which causes ‘dis-comfort eating’ – which causes weight gain.

The reason hypnotherapy is such a powerful tool for weight loss is its potential to help you build new healthy habits. This is ideal for easy, natural weight loss because it deals with the emotions that cause habits to form subconsciously.

Hypnotherapy can help with weight loss and weight management in many ways by:-

• Developing a new self image. Improving your self esteem and confidence, you are worth more than your current self image, you are only hurting yourself perhaps because you don’t feel you deserve to be slim and fit?
  
  
• Learn to be more relaxed about weight loss and weight management. Stress is often a serious factor in bad diet and ‘dis-comfort’ eating.
  
  
• Positive thinking about weight and diet. Stop worrying about your weight, it’s the worrying that hurts and causes the cycle to start again!
  
  
• Create a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, start to feel better about yourself. This will help you to lose weight and, of course, losing weight will help you to feel even better about who you are and what you can achieve. The whole thing becomes a very positive cycle which goes round and round. Most people expect to have to lose weight in order to feel good about themselves. Interestingly, when you start to feel good about yourself, weight loss, health and happiness often follow.

Losing weight and keeping it off are much, much easier than you probably think...
The healthiest way to lose weight is not the quickest way to lose weight. Crash diets and new, trendy weight loss plans or sudden and drastic increases in exercise are not recommended and most doctors consider such an approach to weight loss to be dangerous.

Most people, when they look back at their weight loss history find that over time they are actually putting weight on. What a contradiction!

So isn’t it time to look at how weight loss is affected by your emotions and change the habits and cravings. If you live in Stockport, Cheshire or Greater Manchester now is the time to give me a call and find out how counselling and hypnotherapy can help you lose weight.

I recently flew back from Spain, having endured a restless ten hours in the airport with little sleep waiting for my delayed flight to depart at 4 am.

I did hear of a lady that spent the whole flight back to Manchester with her head in her hands suffering from anxiety all of the way back home. It must have been an awful experience for her, and how brave she was to get on the plane in the first place.

It is a shame however that she didn’t see a hypnotherapist before she flew. In my experience hypnotherapy is very effective for people with any phobias, but particularly flying.

I have helped people from all over Cheshire and South Manchester with this issue and two or three sessions of hypnotherapy normally gets the person quite happily on the plane and enjoying a new found sense of freedom.

In the majority of cases, a traumatic experience on a flight or something associated with the experience of flying can start the fear, which seems to get worse as time goes by. Until you do something about it that is, and in my experience hypnotherapy for flying is extremely successful.

It is also not always about flying itself; sufferers also express problems with motorway driving, bridges, heights and enclosed places. A feeling of being out of control when flying is also relayed by a number of my hypnosis clients.

The subconscious is at play here, doing what it thinks is best for you. You have been frightened before so it will create an anxiety about returning to this ‘dangerous place’.

Very useful in our caveman days, to stop you going back to the place where you were attacked by the sabre-tooth, but not useful today.

So, has anyone talked to your subconscious and explained that it is a really safe way to travel, and you can remain calm and in control when you are on a plane? If the answer is no and you live in South Manchester or Cheshire then maybe it’s a good time to give me a call. Cure the phobia of flying with hypnotherapy.

Probably the most asked question of all time in the Hypnotherapy/Hypnosis world apart from will you be able to make me dance like a chicken.

This is not such an easy question to answer as Hypnotherapy/Hypnosis is a personal state and can vary from person to person. Basically all hypnosis is, is an altered state of awareness with complete relaxation which is induced by the Hypnotherapist or on your own.

Imagine early in the morning when you are in your own comfy bed and in that relaxed state when you are not quite asleep but not fully awake either. The time in which you drift in and out of consciousness and when you dream your wonderful dreams. You are totally relaxed and at this point and in my opinion it is at this time that best describes how it feels to be hypnotised.

Let’s address the dancing like a chicken question whilst we are at it. This is another myth of Hypnosis as at no point during trance do you lose control despite what stage hypnotists might tell you.

At every point during your Hypnotherapy session you will be able to hear what your hypnotherapist is saying. If at any point your Hypnotherapist asks you to do something that is against your morals you would simply be able to open your eyes and stop your session. This is why during hypnosis stage shows they want people with no morals.

To summarise during a hypnotherapy session you are totally relaxed able to hear everything that is being said to you whilst remaining in complete control at all times. It would probably be the most enjoyable relaxing experience of your life and 99% of clients return time and time again it is that enjoyable.

For Hypnotherapy Stockport, Cheshire and Greater Manchester visit the Calm Minds website for more details

It has been a while since I wrote my first blog for Calm Minds, I have been busy helping clients with counselling and hypnotherapy and finishing off my MA, a 30/04 deadline, which is looming! The stress of completing my MA, and also the universal stress that seems to be around at the moment has prompted me to write something about stress.

My practice is based in the leafy Cheshire village of Bramhall and you could be mistaken for thinking the industrial revolution never hit Bramhall, unlike neighbouringStockport and the Greater Manchester area.

I don’t think we had heard of stress before the industrial revolution. We humans have spent the last 10,000 years as farmers or associated trades and before that for millions of years we have been hunter gatherers. We are not programmed for our post-modern lifestyle, we should be out gathering for a few hours a day and spending the rest of the day socialising with our group, making love and telling stories. Sounds great doesn’t it!

What has happened to us, as we get obsessed about being in contact all waking hours and anxious if our mobile phone is out of signal? We have become addicted to material lifestyles, peer pressure and chasing the dream - ‘if I could win the lottery that would make me happy’. All this stress and anxiety caused by our own perceptions creates so many problems and can ultimately kill us.

There is a primitive part of the brain called the Amygdala that controls which is known as our ‘fight or flight’ response. This is a subconscious response to dangerous situations and was very useful when we wanted to run away from a sabre toothed tiger. It increases our adrenalin, gets our heart pumping faster and makes our stomach will stop digesting.

All very useful, but only designed as a temporary measure. What is happening nowadays is that people are living in a constant ‘fight or flight’ state and this is extremely detrimental to our health. It causes chronic stress and psychosomatic illnesses and all kinds of aches and pains in the body.

So what can you do about it, because stress is brought on by the overwhelming feeling that demands on you are exceeding your resources? My experience in practice tells me that both counselling and hypnotherapy have a big part to play in dealing with the symptoms of stress without the need to resort to drugs.

But first, you need to notice it. Are your feeling tired or irritable, do you have high expectations of yourself and others, do you feel emotional – tearful or angry for no obvious reason? Does life feel out of control and you are dealing with it using drink or other ‘blocking’ activities. If so, you are probably suffering from stress and it may be a good idea to see your doctor (who may be quite stressed themselves!) and/or a therapist.

Looking at your whole life and where you spend all your time and energy and where your self-care is, can be useful. Also, there are some other techniques besides counselling and hypnotherapy such as meditation, mindfulness or self hypnosis that can help. But just talking it through with a counsellor or other specialist can be extremely beneficial.

It is time to take care of yourself; you are no use to others if you reach burn out!

Hi and welcome to the first of many blogs here at Calm Minds, Bramhall. I hope that you will find them enjoyable, challenging and occasionally controversial.

My name is Jonathan Lloyd and I am an integrative therapist offering counselling and hypnotherapy. I operate from bespoke, modern and confidential rooms here in Bramhall Cheshire, although, if you cannot get here, then I’ll visit your home throughout Greater Manchester and the North West.

I seem to spread my time quite evenly between counselling and hypnotherapy and some clients like to use both. I will also integrate other techniques including mindfulness, meditation, EFT and Emotional Transference.

I help people with a wide range of issues, including help with stopping smoking, losing weight, phobias, depression, anxiety, stress, relationships and any life events that have stopped you in your tracks.

I started my training in counselling over 5 years ago and I am just completing my Masters degree at Manchester University. My thesis has been around coping strategies and stress. I hope to go onto the taught doctorate programme later this year.

My hypnotherapy training was in Manchester and I qualified three years ago with an Advanced Diploma. I have been involved in many workshops and courses on therapy throughout the North West and I continue to train and develop.

I will be talking in future blogs about hypnotherapy and how it works with breaking subconscious cravings, fears and habits. I also want to shed light on serious issues of stress and anxiety, how relationships breakdown, addiction and depression.

I spend a lot of my time counselling clients as they come to terms with loss in its many forms, with particular emphasis on helping individuals with relationship problems.

To see me in action, please visit www.inexcess.tv where I am a regular posse member on an internet TV show. Series three starts 23rd March.