Away from my business as a therapist at Calm Minds in Bramhall, I am also the father of three children one of whom is on the Autistic Spectrum (AS). He is now eleven and will be going to High School in September, an anxious time for most parents, but particularly for parents of children with special needs including autism. Recent research suggests that they are twenty times more likely to be bullied, quite a horrendous thought!

My recently completed Masters Degree at Manchester University was in counselling and my question and research was around the experiences of fathers of autistic children and how they cope.

I have been practicing counselling for a number of years now and help people in all areas of life with many human issues such as stress, depression, phobias and anxiety. Recently I have been helping a number of people on the AS (notice I don’t include ‘disorder’ as it puts a negative label on people). I am a counsellor recommended by the National Autistic Society.

I help parents and their children, the initial chat usually involves the family and then I work with the individual. The children and teenagers that I have helped recently with counselling tend to come from all over Cheshire and the North West, from the age of around ten or eleven, and are usually at the higher functioning end of the spectrum including Aspergers. Anxiety around social situations is a common theme, and building up a trusting non judgemental relationship is usually the underlying base to build upon. I also help with relaxation methods and other thought and behaviour work.

I have had the experience of having a son with autism (probably why I became a therapist in the first place) and my research and work with others either those with AS or those whose life is impacted by AS, maybe will allow me to make your life a little easier? I don’t have all the answers, but if you are struggling with autism in the family and want some counselling or just a chat about how I can help, please contact me.

My standard charge is £50 per hour, £40 for children (as I find that 30 or 40 minutes is the optimum period for the younger person) and I will always discuss lower fees if you are struggling financially.

I have already written about stress and how it manifests. Today I want to talk about the dynamics of work place stress.

The first point having helped people deal with stress almost on a daily basis with counselling and hypnotherapy I would like to make is that it’s not all about work. Usually work life balance and outside-work factors are at play. Relationship problems or bereavement for example can add to stress levels.

Stress is increased to a dangerous level when unwanted demands outweigh resources.

Let’s talk about unwanted demands first. I was on holiday recently and I had to make one two minute phone call one evening. Because I thought ‘this is my holiday and I don’t want to be making business calls’ I had a stressful day ruminating about this small affair of a short phone conversation. The point is that it was unwanted.

In the business environment unwanted demands can come in two guises; the first from the company or the boss asking too much from you, it may be an unreasonable demand or the way it is demanded. More often it is the way that you receive it. The other is more subtle. It is your own demands of your self. Your own high expectations, trying to prove that you are the hardest worker, stay longest in the office and please the boss are the most powerful. Maybe you were criticised as a child or sometime along your path you have received the message that you are ‘not good enough’. You have a point to prove, but there is a cost and you may not notice the cost until it is too late.

So what can you do about it? Resources are the simple answer. Counselling is extremely useful at looking at your life as a whole, working out where those demands are coming from, and what you can do differently on a practical level. It can also help with reframing negative thought processes.  Hypnotherapy and meditation are recognised methods of relaxation, along with massage and other therapies.

If you would like a chat either as a boss who wants to implement stress management (it is a legal requirement) or your life is creating too much stress. Then give me a call at Calm Minds, hypnotherapy and counselling for stress, here in Bramhall Cheshire.

I will visit you if that is more convenient anywhere in Cheshire, Greater Manchester or the North West.

The nice weather has got me thinking about how hypnotherapy can be used for one of my favourite pastimes – golf.

I have been working with a golf professional currently on tour in the USA. Whilst he was still here in Bramhall Cheshire we did a number of hypnotherapy sessions around his golf game.

Confidentiality prevents me from naming him, but suffice to say I am constantly checking on his scores and results. A strange thing happened with the hypnotherapy CD that I prepared for him. I played it back to myself and I won the next two competitions in Cheshire that I entered and also my son listened to it and he won the next junior competition at Disley Golf Club. Living proof that hypnotherapy works with sport, particularly golf.

Those of you who play will realise that it is all ‘between the ears’ and you know when you are relaxed and confident you are at your best.

Hypnotherapy helps to increase relaxation and confidence for many situations, but the results are extremely visible in sport.

I have played for 30 years and my best golf is when life is generally good and my mind is calm. Anxiety manifests itself in the golf swing or the putting stroke and is then reinforced. So when things go wrong you swing even faster or you TRY even harder to get that stupid ball in the hole!! Anxiety breeds speed and too much speed is bad in golf.

Along with a colleague who works in other sports I have devised a programme of hypnotherapy for groups and individuals that aim to improve your enjoyment of the game. (Otherwise as Oscar Wilde says – it just becomes a good walk spoilt.) We can deliver the courses which use a combination of sports hypnotherapy and other techniques at clubs around the Cheshire and South Manchester area.